Anonymous British

Biby's Epitaph

A muvver was barfin' 'er biby one night, The youngest of ten and a tiny young mite, The muvver was poor an' the biby was thin, Only a skelington covered in skin; The muvver turned rahnd for the soap off the rack, She was but a moment, but when she turned back, The biby was gorn; and in anguish she cried, "Oh, where is my biby? " — The angels replied: "Your biby 'as fell dahn the plug-'ole, Your biby 'as gorn dahn the plaug; The poor little thing was so skinny an' thin 'E oughter been barfed in a jug; Your biby is perfekly 'appy, 'E won't need a barf any more, Your biby 'as fell dahn the plug-'ole, Not lorst, but gorn before. " AN ALTERNATE VERSION A mother was bathin' her baby one night The youngest of ten, a poor little mite The mother was fat and the baby was fin T'was nawt but a skellington wrapped up in skin The mother turned round for the soap from the rack She weren't gone a minute, but when she got back Her baby had gone, and in anguish she cried "Oh, where is my baby? ", and the angels replied Your baby has gorn dahn the plug'ole Your baby has gorn dahn the plug The poor little thing was so skinny and thin He shoulda been bathed in a jug Your baby is perfik'ly happy He won't need no bathin' no more He's workin' his way through the sewers Not lost, just gone on before Your baby has gorn dahn the drainpipe And the chlorine is bad for his eyes He's havin' a swim, and it's healthy for him He needed the exercise Don't worry 'baht 'im, just be 'appy For I know he is suff'rin' no pain Your baby has gorn dahn the plug'ole Let's hope he don't stop up the drain Your baby is perfik'ly 'appy He won't need a bath any more He's muckin' abaht with the angels above Not lost but gone before This was a popular music hall recitation at one time. In the 1960's 70's it was sung in folk circles by such notables as Eric Clapton, Cream Martin carthy, Wally Whyton and a host of others.